Saturday, March 14, 2015

Fantasy RPG Heartbreakers - Everybody's got one, even me

     About eight years ago, when it seemed like everyone was doing their own retro clone or home-brew RPG, I decided that it might be a good idea to write one too.  There may have been some gin or bourbon involved in this decision, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.  I wrote the first draft and then lost interest.  In truth, I lost the files too, except for the PDF that I had for some reason uploaded to my Google Drive account.  A few weeks ago, I came across that file buried in a long forgotten directory, and had a good chuckle while reading through it.
     Now, I'll be the first to say that I've never been a "rules guy".  I don't really have much of an appreciation for a well crafted set of rules, or for cleverly designed mechanics.  I'm more interested in an interesting setting and just having fun.  If it's a good story and someone tells me roll high for something good to happen and roll low for something bad to happen, I'm generally OK with that. :-)  Having said that, my game has no setting information at all. It's just the rules, and it clocks in at a whopping 19 pages including character generation, combat, spells and a handy character sheet.
     I've never even play-tested this thing, and I don't expect that I ever will, as I own quite a number RPGs that are actually both good and playable.  The game has little practical application beyond perhaps what not to do in RPG design, but I had fun writing it, and figured that I would throw it out as a cautionary tale to other would be game designers.
     Without further ado, I present to you the 2008 version of Crossbows and Codpieces.  It's a 2d6 system, and the spells were inspired by the wacky spell names from Jack Vance's Dying Earth.  I just really hope that nobody ever casts Alem's Unsightly Canker on me. ;-)
     So, who else has one languishing in some long forgotten folder that they would like to share?

PS:  I actually forgot to include a codpiece on the equipment list too. :-(
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