Weird Adventure Idea Wednesday

This week's weird adventure idea:

On a brisk evening you come upon a scarred gladiator near an ancient shrine.  The gladiator recounts to you a tale to you that 25 days journey to the west, beyond The Foreboding Dunes of the Gods can be found The Sanctified Cavern of Blood.  It is reputed that there is hidden The Agate Visor of Purity.  But beware, for the gladiator alerts you that it is said The Dire Mind Wrecker of Fetishes tortures all who go there!

If you enjoy Weird Adventure Idea Wednesday, be sure to stop back each week, and check out some of the other free resources in this blog.

DCC Magic Item:The Mutilating Battleaxe of the Frog

This oddly shaped battleaxe was created by the ancient frog god Umha as a reward for one of his most powerful frogman champions.  The axe is forged from a strange greenish metal which is lighter than steel and is resistant to all corrosive forces.  The axe imparts supernatural jumping abilities on the wielder, allowing them to leap a distance equal to their normal movement (30' for humans and Elves, 20' for dwarves and halflings).  In combat the axe acts as a +2 magical weapon doing 1d10+2 damage.  If the wielder scores a critical hit with the axe, the critical hit is rolled normally, but there is a chance that the axe will inflict additional mutilation to the victim.  Roll on the Additional Mutilation Table below:

Additional Mutilation Table:

d% roll    Effect
1-40         None
41-45       Right Hand Severed
46-50       Left Hand Severed
51-55       Right Foot Severed
56-60       Left Foot Severed
61-65       Right Leg Severed
66-70       Left Leg Severed
71-75       Right Arm Severed
76-80       Left Arm Severed
81-85       Right Ear Severed
86-90       Left Ear Severed
91-95       Nose Cut Off
96-00       Genitals Severed (if applicable) otherwise treat as None

As with many magic items created by the ancient gods, this one comes with a price.  Each time the axe inflicts an additional mutilation (any effect other than None), there is a chance the the frog god Umha will notice the wielder of the axe and grant him or her a "blessing".  Roll on the Blessings of Umha Table below:

Blessings of Umha Table:

d% roll    Effect*
1-95         Umha does not notice.  No effect
96            Wielder's legs are transformed into the rear legs of a frog
97            Wielder's left arm is transformed into the forearm of a frog
98            Wielder's right arm is transformed into the forearm of a frog
99            Wielder's body is transformed into the body of a frog
00            Wielder's head is transformed into the head of a frog (normal speech not possible)

* All transformations are proportional in size to the victim's original size.

Iron Kingdoms Board Game Kickstarter: Less than 5 hours to go!

Privateer Press's Kickstarter for their second Iron Kingdoms Widower's Wood board game has less than 5 hours to go.  It's fully funded, and while it's a little pricey, the 107 miniatures that come with it make it really tempting!

Conan RPG Kickstarter: Final 24 hours

The Conan RPG Kickstarter is in it's final 24 hours and has pass the half million dollar mark (~305,000 GBP).  If you've been on the fence,time is running out!

Weird Adventure Idea Wednesday

This week's weird adventure idea:

On a hazy afternoon you have a chance meeting with an evil-smelling laborer in a bustling inn.  The laborer discloses to you that 5 weeks journey to the northeast, atop The Sullied Precipices of Witchcraft stands The Whispering Mansion of the Ruinous Knight.  It is believed that there lay The Frigid Steel Stabbing Sword of the Bloodcurdling Priest.  But beware, for the laborer advises you that The Vengeful Plant Man of the Damned lurks there!

If you enjoy Weird Adventure Idea Wednesday, be sure to stop back each week, and check out these other free resources:

1,001 Weird and Wacky Adventure Ideas

and

1,001 More Weird and Wacky Adventure Ideas

Table of Magical Eye Replacements (Free PDF)

Here is a d100 table for magical eye replacements.  It might be good for those times when your players lose an eye and that cut-rate sorcerer they asked to fix it gives them a bit more than they bargained for.  There is nothing system specific here as the eyes don't have details beyond their colorful names, but I think that the names are descriptive enough to inspire creativity.  Enjoy!

Weird Adventure Idea Wednesday

This week's weird adventure idea:

On a rainy evening you are accosted by an insane barbarian standing by the road.  The barbarian recounts to you an ancient legend that 14 days travel to the west, through the Ravine of Vile Dreams, can be found the Seething Monastery of the Snake.  It is said that hidden there is the Expanding Ruby Scabbard of Perversion.  But beware, for the barbarian informs you that the Infested Corpse Keeper of Amputation slaughters all who go there! 

If you enjoy Weird Adventure Idea Wednesday, be sure to check out these free resources:

1,001 Weird and Wacky Adventure Ideas

and

1,001 More Weird and Wacky Adventure Ideas

Terrain Tuesday

In truth, most of my terrain is dungeon oriented.  I guess I'm just an old dungeoneer at heart, but I decided to make some trees, in case some bandits might need to hide behind them at the dungeon entrance.  I used a piece of 1/4 inch plywood and rounded the corners off so that it would have a little height on the table.  I used model railroad trees with the based removed.  This allowed me to attach them by drilling holes in the plywood and using a little JB Weld.  Then I coated the surface with wood glue and very corse sand and stones that I got from the lawn and garden store.  In a moment of madness, I painted the stones (nature's not good enough for me, I guess) and then did another round of wood glue to attach the flocking.  In the end, I don't think that it's too bad for a first attempt for an afternoon's work, but I think that I'm better at making dungeon pieces.  :-)

Free: Color your own Barbarian

I've joked for a while about doing a coloring book from my drawings, so I thought that it might be fun to do quick one pager that people can print and color themselves.  So, is your refrigerator lacking in barbarian artwork?  Are your kids tired of coloring smurfs?  Are adult comic books just too expensive?  Are your office or cubicle walls dull and lifeless?  Well then just click on the image above (or on this link), and download your own barbarian coloring sheet to make your day just a little more barbaric.
Also if anyone does color it, feel free to post your results in the comments! :-)

Miniatures Monday

An oldie but goodie from Ral Partha.  No doubt they couldn't call Him Groo the Wanderer due to copyright issues, but we know the truth right?  :-)

A weekend of drawing

I completed three illustrations this weekend.  The first I used on Friday to introduce my free d100 table of perilous places, and as expected, the other two were barbarians.  Pretty productive for a guy who can't draw.  I've always wanted to be able to get some of the ideas in my head down on paper, but I'm quite aware of my skill deficiency.  So for years, that stopped me from drawing anything but black and white stick figures.  Perhaps it's growing older, I'm not actually sure, but about a year ago something made me just start drawing.  The first ones were very crude and pretty bad, and the recent ones aren't much better, but I'm really enjoying drawing them.  I like to think that they jazz  up my Weird Adventure Wednesday posts a bitt too.  I'll never be a professional artist, and no one is going to ask me to illustrate anything for them, but I'm having a blast drawing them.  Maybe I'll even take the original black and white scan and make a coloring book.  Maybe I could sell it for a dime on DTRPG?  More than likely, I'd have to pay folks to take a copy. ;-). So my advice to people as always if you think you might like something, give it a try.  You may find that you're not very good at it, but even so, you may find that you enjoy it and keep doing it regardless of the results.  So keep doing the things that make you happy.  :-)

New Threads

Well, I didn't make it to Gary Con, but my new DCC shirt showed up yesterday, and it's pretty sweet.

GWAR does D&D

It came to my attention though a post by Zak over at http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/ that an adventure called Towers Two has recently been published for Lamentations of the Flame Princess.  While this would be interesting news to me under normal circumstances, in this case I was even more intrigued since it was written by none other than the late Dave Brockie, perhaps better known as Oderus Urungus, lead singer of GWAR.  It turns out that Brockie was a big D&D fan, which isn't really that surprising I guess.  The adventure involves demented twin brothers living in opposite towers with some dungeons underneath.  People are disappearing and horrible screams are coming from the towers.  Some local merchants hire the players to investigate, and no doubt hilarity and gore ensue.  Not necessarily in that order. 

I saw GWAR in concert in the spring of 1994, and it was memorable to say the least.  They played in a converted roller skating rink, and we left that place drenched in fake blood and other simulated fluids.  I can't say that the music was good, but it was a hell of a lot of fun.  Good times, those.  So I really couldn't pass up an adventure written by Dave Brockie.  Of course, written by is perhaps a bit of a loose term since Dave died before he could finish it.  The adventure was completed by Jobe Bittman, but Dave's original draft is included as an appendix.  I have the PDF but am waiting for the physical copy to actually give it a full read through, so I can't yet comment on the adventure itself.  Having skimmed though the PDF though, I will say that the biggest draw for me is the artwork done by Dave Brockie himself.  There's a lot of psychedelic goodness there.  I plan to write more on this once I've read through the entire thing.  Much like that concert way back in 1994, I'm not sure that I expect it to be good, but I do expect it to be entertaining.  Long live GWAR!

d100 Table: Perilous Places (Free PDF)

I've created a new random table of Perilous Places.  This one gives 100 random perilous adventure locations.  So the next time you find yourself stuck trying to come up with a location for an adventure, feel free to give one of these a try.  I mean, who wouldn't want to send their players to The Indomitable Observatory of Exploitation?  Hopefully someone will get some enjoyment out of this.   I know that I have a lot of fun making them :-)

Also, feel free to check out last Friday's table of Magic Items.

Weird Adventure Idea Wednesday

Here is this week's weird adventure idea.  If you're looking for an adventure seed, why not give this one or one of the earlier ones a try?

On an autumn afternoon you are confronted by a flatulent troubadour sitting beside the road.  The troubadour tells you a rumor that 4 weeks journey to the northeast, over the Blighted Peaks of Smoke, was built the Deadly Burial Mound of the Tyrant.  It is alleged that deep within the mound lay the Depraved Tungsten Buckler of Poisoning.  But beware, for the troubadour tells you that it is whispered that the Rotting Tentacle Flayer of Endless Sins dwells there!