Fantasy RPG Heartbreakers - Everybody's got one, even me

     About eight years ago, when it seemed like everyone was doing their own retro clone or home-brew RPG, I decided that it might be a good idea to write one too.  There may have been some gin or bourbon involved in this decision, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.  I wrote the first draft and then lost interest.  In truth, I lost the files too, except for the PDF that I had for some reason uploaded to my Google Drive account.  A few weeks ago, I came across that file buried in a long forgotten directory, and had a good chuckle while reading through it.
     Now, I'll be the first to say that I've never been a "rules guy".  I don't really have much of an appreciation for a well crafted set of rules, or for cleverly designed mechanics.  I'm more interested in an interesting setting and just having fun.  If it's a good story and someone tells me roll high for something good to happen and roll low for something bad to happen, I'm generally OK with that. :-)  Having said that, my game has no setting information at all. It's just the rules, and it clocks in at a whopping 19 pages including character generation, combat, spells and a handy character sheet.
     I've never even play-tested this thing, and I don't expect that I ever will, as I own quite a number RPGs that are actually both good and playable.  The game has little practical application beyond perhaps what not to do in RPG design, but I had fun writing it, and figured that I would throw it out as a cautionary tale to other would be game designers.
     Without further ado, I present to you the 2008 version of Crossbows and Codpieces.  It's a 2d6 system, and the spells were inspired by the wacky spell names from Jack Vance's Dying Earth.  I just really hope that nobody ever casts Alem's Unsightly Canker on me. ;-)
     So, who else has one languishing in some long forgotten folder that they would like to share?

PS:  I actually forgot to include a codpiece on the equipment list too. :-(

R.I.P. Terry Pratchett

So far with Leonard Nimoy, and now Terry Pratchett, it's not shaping up to be a good year for fantasy and sci-fi. :-(

Weird Adventure Wednesday

On a bleak evening you cross paths with an unassuming rat catcher in the trade district.  The rat catcher tells you a rumor that 21 days journey to the east, beyond the Foul Pools of Perversion, lay the Fiery Boneyard of the Soul Hunters.  It is whispered that buried there is the Disintegrating Blade of Endless Pollution.  But beware, for the rat catcher tells you that it is believed the Immortal Knight of Loathing enslaves all who dare enter that place!

In Honor of Chuck Norris's 75th Birthday

Far Away Land Premium

The premium edition of Far Away Land has arrived, and it is gorgeous!

Miniatures Monday

A fierce Barbarian stands at the entrance to a dark cave.

The original wash on his flesh made it look too much like the leather he is wearing.   In the end, all of the flesh areas needed a complete repaint and a lighter wash.  Overall I'm pretty happy with how he turned out.

Iron Kingdoms

Last night we returned to the Iron Kingdoms.  Our characters are in the employ of the Illustrious Brass Anchor Trading Company, where we provide muscle to protect against pirate raids and the like.  Our home port is in the city of Korvis, and we found ourselves investigating a series of mysterious break ins at some of the Illustrious Brass Anchor Trading Company's (IBATC) warehouses.  The curious thing was that nothing was stolen, and all of the crates that had been broken into had been in the warehouses for nearly a 100 years.  So clearly someone was looking for something specific in dead storage.  My Doom Reaver Voldrag did his best Columbo impression, but to little avail.

Voldrag's Character Sheet

Our first stop was to talk to one of the warehouse managers, a tattooed fellow named Relvenik.  Despite his awesome faux goatee tattoo (the faugh-tee), he didn't have much insight into the crimes.  Fortunately the city elf in the party discovered the marks of a grappling hook high up on one of the windows, so a least we knew how they criminals had gotten in.
We decided to try our luck at a bar to see if we could pick up any rumors related to the crimes, but beyond finding an odds sheet for betting on which warehouse would be hit next, we came up empty.  Fortune was with us though, and we were awakened by our old friend from the Korvis City Watch, Sargent Hill, who informed us that another warehouse had just been robbed.  Our party sprung into action and once my Doom Reaver remembered to put on some clothes, we were off to investigate.  This, time, careful searching paid off, and not only were we able to determine that it must have been a rather large group that robbed this particular warehouse, but Voldrag was able to follow some blood drops to a crate in which he discovered a partially naked dead man.  This wasn't just any dead man though, he was a member of the city guard, and his missing uniform meant that one of the guards with us was likely an enemy!  Sure enough one of the guards made a break for the door!

The Scene in the Warehouse

 Our trusty steamjack LOgear managed to harpoon the fleeing man, drag him back and knock him out with a warhammer.  We were quite fortunate that the man didn't die, and when he recovers sufficiently, we intend to question him...

To Be Continued.

Weird Adventure Wednesday

It's weird Adventure Wednesday again!  This week's adventure idea takes place in a labyrinth, with a rather curious looking foe.

On a cloudy night you are confronted by an excited soothsayer on an overgrown footpath.  The soothsayer declares to you that 3 weeks travel to the south, deep beneath the Blasted Wilderness of Tribulation, lies the Crimson Labyrinth of the Blistering Eyes.  It is thought that there is hidden the Throbbing Casket of the Eternity.  But beware, for the soothsayer informs you that it is said the Floating Deathgazer of Skulls slaughters all who dare to enter that place!

Dark Tower Tutorial Video - Vintage Board Game (1981)

As, it's been cold and snowy, I've really felt like breaking out Dark Tower and having a go at claiming the magic scepter.  I've been toying with trying to make a video of an entire game to post.  In the mean time here is my tutorial video from last year.

So I've posted a lot about Avalon Hill's Magic Realm, but now I'm going to talk a a bit about one of the games that I actually played in the early 1980s, Milton bradley's Dark Tower. I played this probably more than any other game between 1981 and 1986 and loved every minute of it. If you aren't familiar with the game, here is a video of the game in actual play. It doesn't show the full game, just the demo for learning how to play, but it gives a decent feel of the game.

I got this game for Christmas in 1981, and at the time I'd never even heard of it, but my parents must have figured that since it had all of the things that I was into (wizards, dragons, etc.), I was bound to like it.  In fact, I loved it.

The goal of the game was to circle the board, searching for the three magical keys and gathering an army so that you could lay siege to the Dark Tower and recover the magical scepter from the Tyrant King.  All the while you had to contend with getting lost in the trackless wastes, fighting marauding brigands, deadly plagues, a capricious warlock, and of course, a fire breathing dragon.

You could visit the bazaar to buy warriors and food.  You could visit ruins and tombs in search of treasure.  You could even visit the sanctuary for assistance if things went wrong for your expedition.   All the while, the tower in the center controlled what happens through the magic of 1980s computer technology.  The game truly did live up to its billing as "A FANTASY ADVENTURE BORN OF ELECTRONIC WIZARDRY".  Here are a few other pictures of the game.

The Dark Tower in all its glory

A closeup of the kingdom of Brynthia

For anyone who is interested, there is an Android version of the game available as well as an online flash version.  Enjoy!

UPDATE:  James Merrill provided a link to another flash version of Dark Tower with very fancy visuals.

Miniatures Monday

Deep in the heart of the forest, a grizzled ranger stoops to check the trail of his quarry.

1,001 More Weird and Wacky Adventure Ideas

It has finally arrived!  After over a month of development and editing, the next version in my series of Weird and Wacky Adventure Ideas is finally out.  Some of the improvements that you'll see in this new edition are more illustrations, new places and items, better variability in the descriptions, and the addition of guardians to protect all of those mysterious "treasures" that are hidden about.  Also, at the end of the book, I have added three new d100 tables to allow for quick generation  of Insane items, Dwellings of Doom, and places of Peril for those times when you don't need an entire adventure idea.  As a bit of time went into actually reviewing each of the adventure ideas and making edits to make them either more wacky, or more consistent, I toyed with the idea of trying to sell it for $0.50, but in the end, I decided to release it for free. (Donations of course are always accepted, but not expected).

The PDF version can be downloaded from here.
The ePub version can be downloaded from here.

I hope that people find as much enjoyment from reading and using this as I had creating it.  Happy Adventuring!

I have been asked about making donations, so I'm including the following links.  As I've said, while donations are greatly appreciated, they are absolutely not expected, but should you feel the desire to send a few coins my way, they can be sent to:

Google Wallet:  jrl755@gmail.com

or

Paypal: jrl755@hotmail.com

Also, don't forget to check back at this blog every Wednesday for a new adventure idea on Weird Adventure Wednesday. :-)

To grieve would be illogical

RIP Leonard Nimoy.  I chose an image from Mirror Mirror because Spock with a beard rocks harder than almost anything that I can think of.

Weird Adventure Wednesday

Fittingly this week's Weird Adventure Wednesday begins on a wintry evening.  I wonder if the lagoon is frozen?

On a wintry evening you come upon a dandyish theurgist in a busy inn.  The theurgist discloses to you that 7 days walk to the northeast, in the Lagoon of the Patriarch, can be found the Devouring Monolith of the Dreaded Adjudicator.  It is thought that hidden there is the Whispering Vial of Dreams.  But beware, for the theurgist cautions you that it is rumored the Shattered Initiate of Wind slays all who dare approach!

Miniatures Monday

Today's Miniatures Monday depicts a battle between a raging barbarian and a vicious Owlbear.  Savagery against savagery amidst some long forgotten ruins, no doubt the Owlbear's lair is nearby.

Two foes in deadly combat

A closeup of the Barbarian

A closeup of the Owlbear

Iron Kingdoms Miniatures (Works In Progress)

I've been assembling and basing some Iron Kingdoms miniatures from Privateer Press recently.  They are very nice miniatures, if a bit setting specific, but they certainly do take some time to put together.  With cleaning the mold lines, j-bonding the parts together, and basing them, these are all that I've managed to build in the last four weeks.  Now I just need to wait for the weather to break so that I can prime them and begin painting them.  I've got quite a backlog of miniatures already, but I can't seem to stop adding to it. :-)